Going Home

My bodhran, my happy dog, and some last views of Traught Beach, near the Doorus House hostel.

I am writing this while I fly from NYC to SLC, on the last leg of my trip! I stayed in Dublin last night but didn’t see much of it. The last three weeks have been pretty easy, and pleasant, but I still have no desire to plan any more outings, bus trips, train trips, etc. for a while, anyway.
I think Ireland soaked in to my bones, it felt like home, even if it was cold and rainy most of the time. I am taking a bit of it back with me in the bodhran, my Irish drum that I bought in Galway, and intend to learn to play. I have been wanting a drum for years, but the right one never seemed to show up- until now. I love the sound of it, the history, and the Celtic connection.
Thoughts, feelings, doubts, victories? All of those- as I recall my beginning attitudes and plans, and how it all changed- but the purpose’, if there was/is one? To experience some of Europe from a non-tourist perspective, to learn about people and places… To write, enjoy, make new friends. To trust the process as much as possible, to learn to go with the flow and not need to have everything planned out. I now think maybe there is a balance between planning and spontaneousness- either that, or it takes the full plunge into total trust, going with whatever happens, no life jacket. I didn’t have the courage to try that, really.
The ‘blind date’ idea from the beginning morphed to an affair with the places I found myself in. At this point, I feel confident enough to go do it again (after a good rest) without any thoughts of someone being there to help me out. It’s better without the restrictions of trying to mesh with another’s needs- unless that person is already a good friend and you already mesh. So to speak.
Flying over Lake Michigan. The familiar landscape of the states is kind of comforting for now. Shifting back, after three months, using US currency feels a bit strange. And driving on the right- after a month of being on the left. And being able to understand everyone’s speech. And recognizing brands.
I didn’t do as much painting as I would have liked- quite a few sketches, but just a few paintings that I may photograph and share. I think next time I will have a different attitude about where I might like to go, like eastern European countries. I guess I feel less limited about possibilities.
I feel inspired by Yeats, unexpectedly. I find myself planning poems at odd times. In general, I feel a lot more content, less restless. That is a good thing. Peaceful.
I still want to see Portugal and northern Spain- and more of France. But also Scandinavia, Poland, Turkey…Australia would be great.
I learned a lot about what not to do, a whole essay on that perhaps…and ways to save even more money. As it is, I think I actually spent less traveling than I would have if I stayed home. Amazing. Traveling a non-peak times would mean cheaper airfare. Now is not a good time, but even now, flying from Dublin helped. Shannon airport in Ireland also has flights to the US, but I haven’t checked their prices yet. Shannon is close to a lot of beautiful parts of Ireland.
I have a new perspective on Irish Americans, like a deeper respect and appreciation. And I see the Spanish speaking parts of Central/South America differently now, as a parallel European settlement but largely from Spain. ‘Mexicans’ are a very complex and interesting group of people, in light of their history.
Doubts? No. I expect to go again. Maybe doubts about being more than three months- not sure how that would pan out, with the supposed restriction without a visa. I haven’t heard of anyone getting in trouble for staying longer, as long as you behave yourself- but just not sure. I was asked when I left how long I had been in Europe- by American customs. That was different, to go through customs in Dublin before getting on the plane.
Victories? Lots of small ones, mostly over my own fears and doubts. Maybe that is what it is really all about. For me, anyway. Every fear that disappears is a victory. I believe I got the travel itch out of my system for a few weeks, anyway- and now ready to focus more on painting and writing. So it is all good.

‘Home’ now, I am wading through jet lag and a virus that I think I acquired before I left- And it is around 100 F., quite a shift from the 60’s and raining. But it feels really nice to be back, with my joyful dog, waiting out the hot part of the day in front of a fan. And learning how to play the Bodhran.